To My Future Lover/Husband/Man-in-my-Life

In case you guys hadn’t noticed, reading this blog, I get rather angry at society’s portrayal of women in media. All media, because this morning, it was a comic that’s got me all incensed. We won’t get into it, most comics are rubbish nowadays anyway. But Mr. X, here is a laundry list of vague promises for you.

1. I am not interested in “winning” every argument. I do not think I am always right, and you shouldn’t think I am either, or stifle your own personality and opinions to accommodate such tyranny on my part. I would LIKE to be always right, as all my friends can tell you, but in my experience, I’m usually wrong. I may not admit this in the moment, but there it is. So DON’T just say “yes, dear,” to appease the she-god’s wrath. I am with you because I respect you, and you should put your foot down and demand to be treated decently.

2. It has recently come to my attention that at least some guys, some of the time, enjoy buying things for their lady-love. This makes sense, and if it’s important to you, go for it. I have always tried to not expect gifts, but secretly, I’ll be absolutely thrilled. Hooray, affirmation of value through physical baubles! But seriously, just don’t go all out. I’m not one of those girls that expects a check every time I start sniffling. It’s the little things I love. Example: Hanna surprised me with a chocolate rose for Valentine’s Day about two years ago, and I still have it. So don’t worry, I’ll be appreciative.

3. You actually don’t need to look like an Olympian god to get my attention. I have a weak spot of skinny, lanky boys, heaven knows why, but the other side of the spectrum isn’t a problem. My one requirement is that you’re just out of shape/slightly overweight, as opposed to totally fat. Sorry, I know it’s shallow. But I don’t expect more of you than I do of myself, which is out-of-shape-but-trying/striding-the-border-of-normal-and-overweight. But hey, maybe love conquers all? And the “body builder” look is a total turn off if it’s crazy, so don’t worry about that, either. I guess the rule is “all in moderation.”

4. I’m not really scared of the period after the heedless, obsessive passion cools a bit. I mean, I want my share of the romance, and science says we’ll get at least three months of drooling over every little thing about each other before we wake up. I’ve waited long enough I deserve some fun. But unlike most people, it’s not just being in love with love I’m after. There is a subtle difference between being in love with someone, and loving them. Usually people use this to distinguish friends from lovers, but I don’t think that’s right. I don’t need a prince charming who will constantly make each moment magical, that’s unrealistic. I want my life to be real, not fantastic, so what I’m looking forward to is the day when we can take comfort in just sitting on the couch, playing video games or watching a movie; or just being in the same house and being able to do our own thing in confidence that there is someone to go back to. So you don’t have to be scared of that, or growing older, or whatever. Every part of life has its charms, or it wouldn’t be lived.

And to end on a simple note – 5. I have no doubt I am going to want you with every fiber of my being, and my greatest fear is not being wanted back. So if you’ve got that, we’ll be okay.


About emilydnelson

A recent graduate of Hofstra University with a B.A. in anthropology, Emily is like every other twenty-two year old on the planet - trying to figure out what the hell to do now. Follow as she struggles with writing, her social work job, and bopping from coast to coast.
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