On the Third Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me

(Yes, actually, it is the third day of Christmas. Whereas we in modern America begin the Christmas season bizarrely after Halloween and end it at five o’clock Christmas Day, the day itself is but the beginning. Yesterday was Day Two, Boxing Day, and it’ll culminate with the Feast of the Epiphany, the Twelfth Day of Christmas. Supposedly when the wise men made it to see Jesus and all that. But enough about that.)

For about a week, I’ve been house sitting in Sellwood, and mooning over how much better it is than when I house sit in, say, Vancouver. No offense intended to my cousins, but there is NOTHING to do in Vancouver, whereas in Sellwood I can do five and a half million things in easy walking distance. For example, within two blocks of where I now sit, there is a gelato AND a frozen yogurt place. Ooh, heaven is a place on earth, my friends.

In fact, I’ve been cooing over how cozy and nice it is and how happy I’d be to live here (except that it is actually Portland and no thank you), when Reality gave me a nice hard cock slap to the face last night. In bed was I, having probably the warmest and best sleep I’ve had all week, when one of the dogs I’m watching started freaking the shit out. Like, barking like crazy and I could not shut him up. Why? Because there were some stupid drunks on a Monday night yelling outside my window.

“Okaaaaay,” I sighed to myself once I’d FINALLY quieted Porter down. “It’s true I don’t have to usually deal with that in the suburb. But it’s just once, I’ll just go back to sleep.”

This I tried to do. But the little house I’m in (several apartments carved out of one house) is old. To me, this is a bonus, I love old stuff. I’m willing to live with the fact that the whole thing slants and it’s drafty as hell because it’s cool and there’s gelato, there’s a price you just have to pay sometimes. I found out just how high that price is. When through the thin little walls of the bedroom I’m pretty sure I heard the most awkward, passionless sex EVER from the apartment next door.

And as I lay there, painfully awake and hating my life, I had to admit “I’m not going to be putting down a deposit here any time soon.”

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About emilydnelson

A recent graduate of Hofstra University with a B.A. in anthropology, Emily is like every other twenty-two year old on the planet - trying to figure out what the hell to do now. Follow as she struggles with writing, her social work job, and bopping from coast to coast.
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2 Responses to On the Third Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me

  1. kurt says:

    Be careful what yu ask for…you might just get it. Sometimes it is better at home….

  2. Pingback: The Undiscovered Country Quotaganza! | The Undiscovered Country

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