SO I HAVE TO GO BURN ALL MY SHEL SILVERSTEIN NOW

It’s the whispers…oh God, the whispers….

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Pirates vs Not Ninjas

I’ve been sick for a good week now, that annoying kind where you’re not absolutely miserable, but you can do sod-all. The kind where it’s pointless to go to the doctor because all they’ll say is “You’re sick,” but you still shuffle around unable to do even the simplest actions without feeling brain-dead and wheezy.

As such, I’ve been playing a lot of Pokemon Conquest and watching a lot of Internet Stuff. As I consume a fair amount of video game reviews and videos, I’ve been suffering through repeats of the INCREDIBLY annoying add for Assassin’s Creed 4: Black Flag. Nevermind that Assassin’s Creed hasn’t been good since they milked Ezio’s tits off making millions of spin-offs from the successful sequel; nevermind that we were practically promised a conclusion AT FREAKING LAST with the third chapter, which really wasn’t all that good. Nevermind that the plot is trite and boring, or that it’s lost all soul as a series. Here’s the part that annoys me:

Is anyone else in the world just f—ing sick of pirates?

I mean, I have NEVER been a big fan of pirates, in any medium. Certainly not in the equally over-milked “Pirates of the Caribbean” franchise, though I will say I have fond memories of Sid Meyer’s “Pirates,” and I would play that…Heck, I’m not even all that fond of “Pirates of Penzance!” I prefer “HMS Pinafore.” I guess that’s what I’m saying: why do we have to have YET ANOTHER game about pirates. Couldn’t there be a game where I play as the British Navy? It has all the things people presumably like about pirates (exotic locales, fraught sea battles, uhm….saltwater and scurvy?), and quite a great deal less of the things I don’t like: glorification of groups of people that historically pillaged, raped and murdered. You get cool uniforms, the Napoleonic War, conquest for Queen and Empire, and in some instances, a great deal of homo-eroticism that will never, ever be discussed in public.

…besides, everyone knows ninjas are way cooler.

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Crafting Tips For People With Way Too Much Free Time

It’s much harder to do simple folds in Origami when you have a cocktail at 10:30. But somehow the end result is much better!

Origami Dragons

This is the face of unemployment, right here.

(Actually, if we’re going to be serious, I’m doing more craft stuff because it seems I’m going to be doing a show with my dad. It’s a little harder to get stuff prepared since I can no longer do soap and I don’t have any spare funds to invest, but if anyone’s interested, I will post the relevant dates.)

Learn how to make your own origami dragon by clicking here.

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Thought: #2

Isn’t it interesting that “malodorous” and “melodious” mean such different things when they sound very similar when spoken?

….well, maybe not that interesting.

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Did I Just Get Punk’d?

It’s….just a gameboy….right? Did the future itself just go back in time? I mean, it doesn’t even have the benefit of being compact! And….does this mean they’re agreeing that, yes, the whole 3D thing was a gimmick? Why else would you do it? I mean, I usually have the 3D on my 3DS turned off, but this seems a ridiculous way to fix that.

Someone….explain this….tell me it’s not real….

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I Think You Might Need a Dictionary

Lesbian Couple Denied Wedding Cake by Gresham Company

Okay, so the above article isn’t anything that’s going to rock the boat. It’s unfortunate, but I’m hardly going to get up in arms about it so long as people are, you know, being murdered for their sexuality. A denial of a wedding cake isn’t nice, but it’s not the BIGGEST deal in the world.

This, however, was the part that made me facepalm:

“It’s definitely not discrimination at all. We don’t have anything against lesbians or homosexuals,” [owner Melissa Klein] said. “It has to do with our morals and beliefs […]”

…..UGH.

Someone else who loves English tell me that hurt you as well. Okay, fine, I’ll pretend to go along with the idea that you are ambivalent towards homosexuals (FYI, lesbians ARE homosexuals, “homo” meaning “same.” [The more you know!]). But you ARE discriminating. Just because it’s from your “moral beliefs” doesn’t change what it IS.

I discriminate against clothing that isn’t my favorite color. Hanna discriminates against french fries that aren’t drowning in ketchup. You discriminate against homosexuals because you’re a dick.

I guess I’d be less ticked about this if A. they used the proper terms and B. they were just honest. Just say, “Yes, I hate non-straight people.” But, interestingly, we live in a society that practices discrimination but has made it socially unacceptable, in general, to be discriminatory in a public fashion. You get the idea of closeted racists from this, people who say “Of course racism is wrong!” but also hold their bags tighter when a black man gets on the elevator. There was a little of that when I lived in Virginia, but I’d say for the most part, people just wore it out on their sleeve, which for me was beyond weird. The few black people I did talk to in my time there (my jobs tended to keep me in affluent areas where this sort of behavior is particularly rife) said they preferred open racism as well. Because at least then you always know what you’re dealing with.

Anyway, this just makes me want to twat the owner of this bakery. Morons.

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Thinking, Thinking – Counterpoint

I’m reconsidering my position on marijuana.

Those of you who read this will know I feel very strongly against legalization. For some reason, when people find this out, they LOVE to argue with me about it, and usually it’s just a nuisance. If I found out you were for it, I wouldn’t try to badger you into changing your mind, I’d keep my mouth shut and probably, I admit, judge you because I’m just kind of that way. I’m not saying it’s a good thing, I’m just saying it’s a thing. I know most people would say that they’re just trying to “have a conversation” with me about it, but you know how I feel. Arguing with me isn’t a conversation. I’m STRONGLY gay rights, but I’m not going to go up to my slightly-homophobic uncle and scold him about gay marriage. Should I? I dunno. Sounds freaking rude to me.

BUT. My new friend Jacob is a law student, and actually a rather intelligent man, and he didn’t argue with me about the subject – he briefly brought up his point, we both moved on. And….I dunno, I’m starting to come around.

Don’t get me wrong, I still HATE pot: I think it’s smelly, it’s a bad habit, and I don’t think it has any particular benefits, medical marijuana aside. However, I make quite a bit about not denying rights to others, and as the country seems to be moving towards legalization, I begin to wonder if I am denying people in the same ways I scold others for.

This is something that requires more thought, so in this case, I WILL take your arguments (or rather, points), because I have a point of view that has been expressed as malleable, so therefore, go ahead. IF I change my mind, my position would be one of “Hate it, hate it, hate it. But if you want to do it, just don’t be associated with me.”

So….I guess it’s the same on my position with orgies? Eh, you can be ASSOCIATED with me for orgies, just don’t ask me to participate.

Wow. That means I hate pot more than I hate orgies.

I’m not sure what that says about me. I’m going to go with “sexually liberated.”

I talked with my dad about this after writing this blog, and he pointed out an important issue with my current thinking, i.e., worrying about denying rights to others. If the issue is equality under the law then, say, denying marriage to one group of people is unequal under the law. However, NO ONE is legally allowed to smoke marijuana as a controlled substance, and therefore, we are all equal under the law. He figured it would probably one day be legalized and he would accept that as a law, but it didn’t mean he’d have to like it.

Soooo….I’m still not certain how I feel about that, but I think that clears my conscience from “denying” anyone anything they have a right to have.

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